Oh my poor neglected blog....I have left you alone for so, so long! I have been busy! Oh so busy! Between my sweet family, sports, the playschool and all the other aspects of life, I had decided to take a break from blogging! I miss it SO much though. It's my diary, my thoughts, my memories for my children and I really want to work better on slicing out this time for me to just write. I love to write.
So much has gone on in the last 4 or 5 months that I could talk about but I will just pick up from here and get back to it! Recently I was on one of my favorite blogs and was reading through contest entries that were posted about "What being a mom means". It made me go deep in thought about what being a mom means to ME. I have always loved my children and more than anything I strive to be the mom my children deserve. Recently though, my love for my children has grown, evolved, changed in so many ways. I feel like I cherish the little moments more. I get lost in their eyes more. I REALLY see each individual child of mine for WHO they are and enjoy their very different personalities. I often watch them do a certain task or job or enjoy something and wonder, will that be what they choose to do when they grow up? Peyton really enjoys writing (as I always have) she also has a passion for anything creative (structures, building, etc.) she is majorly talented at sports too. Reagan LOVES to sing and dance, loves to act, is OBSESSED with fashion. Jordyn LOVES art. Painting, coloring, crafts, building with sand, mud clay. Caiden- well Caiden I'm pretty sure will have a career as a stunt man, he's pretty brave!;) It seriously just makes me think so much though. Where will these kids be 18 years from now? Am I laying the right foundation to help them soar? Am I being present enough? Am I being the role model they need? So it brought me to-
What being a mom means to me
Being a mom means that after a 21 hour labor full of pain, you immediately feel no pain once a sweet little 7lb 5oz baby is placed on your chest. It means that all of that work leading up to being a mom means nothing because all of your theories went right out the window once you actually became a mom. It means several tears, several. Happy tears, sad tears, overwhelmed tears, scared tears. It means rocking a sweet little baby in your arms at 3am instead of sleeping because they decided it's playtime. It means retiring your high heels on some days (well most) because high heels and hide and go seek don't do hand in hand. It means that your make up is no longer just make up, it becomes a bag of wonderful art tools to a two year old. It means that despite saying that your car would ALWAYS be spotless and your children would never eat in it, goldfish and sippy cups will be on the floor of your precious, pricey car. Being a mom means that you will be stretched further than you ever thought you could be stretched- emotionally, mentally, even physically when you get in a good round of wrestling as a family on the floor. It means that you will become quite the dancer when your child asks you to dance the day away with them. Being a mom means that you are struck with sheer and utter panic when your discover you are pregnant with number 2. It does not matter that you were trying and desperately wanted another, you will be scared. The thought of having to take love from your first born and share with the second is enough to make you cry. Being a mom means that once baby number 2 is placed on your chest and big sister comes in to see her and holds her for the first time, your heart expands. Being a mom means that you will struggle. Every mom struggles. It means that you will be balancing a toddler on one hip while feeding an infant in the other arm. It means that your clothes will forever have some sort of stain on them. You wont mind. It means singing the same nursery rhyme 100 times in a row because it's the only thing that will make your baby calm. It means reading 12 books in one sitting because you just can't tell that sweet face no. It means that "getting crazy on a Saturday night" is a game of Twister and pizza. It means that you will be the enemy more than once when you have to say no. It means waiting in frustration as your 5 year old tries repeatedly to do something on her own for the first time and is crying because it's tough but you know you can not do it for her because she needs to learn and grow. It means crying as you walk away from the kindergarten classroom for the first time because you just can't believe your baby is already in kindergarten. It means being mentally drained on days that your children all need something at the same exact time. It means that that fresh new marriage you had before the baby in the baby carriage turns to a brand new relationship full of respect, appreciation and admiration for your spouse and the parent they have become. Being a mom means being an actress at times when you want to cry because life is stressful but you have to instead smile. Being a mom means being a 24/7 on call nurse when a boo-boo occurs and needs to be kissed better or a case of the stomach flu hits all 4 children at 1am. Being a mom means that you will have to multitask on several occasions. It means that your house will never be to the exact standards it once was. It means that the beautiful wine rack you have on display will be replaced with pictures of your children. It means that the workout equipment in the spare bedroom is given away when you have to make room for a new baby's nursery. Being a mother means that despite how hard you try, your body will never be exactly as it was. You will smile at that fact because our bodies are amazing for what they are capable of. Being a mom means that you are constantly being watched, judged and mimicked by little people. Choose your actions wisely because they WILL follow your example. Being a mom means you will never eat a hot meal with your children around again. They will need more food, a drink, a napkin, a spill will happen or someone will need to potty right as you sit down. Being a mom means you better have a lock on your bedroom door if you ummm plan to have alone time with your spouse. Being a mom means that you will constantly feel like you are failing or could be more. It means that you will spend countless hours even days talking to the Lord and asking for his guidance and praying for Him to pull you through a certain parenting struggle. It means being a tooth fairy, a jolly old man named Santa, a bunny and several other fictional characters. It means laughter. It means chaos. It means being scared to death like you have never been before because although you do the best you can, these little people can and will grow up to be who they are supposed to be, not who you want them to be. It means being prouder than you could have ever imagined being. It means that when you want to write a blog post this long, you will be interrupted at least 1000 times and it will take numerous attempts to finish it.
Being a mom means that everything you dreamed of has come true. It means that you will be a constant work in progress and each year when you look back at yourself, you will not believe how much you have changed and grown. It means that no matter what you do, where you go, or what life throws your way, you will always be someone's hero. Being a mom means having your prayers answered.
