Finding little blessings in the day to day chaos

Clearly with 4 kids, my life is chaotic. Some days all I can do is laugh at it. Some days I would rather cry. Having 4 kids within 5 years is definitely busy but such a blessing! In fact, I would have 10 more if only my husband would let me!;)
There are so many moments as a mother that I am pretty certain I am losing my mind! The house is dirty, the playschool is busy, one kid is late for ballet while the other can't seem to get their homework done, dinner is pushed back due to soccer practice, one kid falls down and smacks their face in the ground and blood is gushing everywhere while my 2 year old is crying because he can't get his superman costume on (for the 10th time today) by himself. So much chaos. In fact, some days raising littles causes so much chaos that it is no longer considered chaos, it is considered normal. It is the season of life that I am in. Our family is LOUD, very hyper, outgoing, competitive and messy! We cause a whirlwind of chaos but we try to bring happiness with us!
I am working on myself more and more each day to embrace (really embrace) the chaos that is my life. When I slow down and take a look around me, I am more than aware of my blessings. Like when my 2 year old crawls in my bed each morning at 5:30am and I desperately want to be mad but then he says "mama, you're my lady, I lub you!" in the cutest voice ever. Or the moment that my 4 year old couldn't fall asleep without another hug and kiss from me but the second she gets that hug and kiss, she is content. I shouldn't be upset by that but instead be thankful that she needs and wants ME. I am the center of her universe. It's the blessing of running on empty trying to keep up with the house chores and then walking into my 5 year old's bedroom and finding that she made her bed perfect so that I wouldn't have to. It's that glorious moment when my 7 year old becomes brave enough that she asks to lead dinner time prayer. All blessings. Each little moment I  have a choice. I can just ignore the sweet little blessings and go on about my chaotic day and not stop to pause and think about the memory my child just made and what it meant to me OR I can stop, take it in and simply tell them "I love you". I could never tell my children I love them too many times. I warn them that when they are grown with children of their own I will still call them at least once a day to simply say "I love you and you are a blessing to me". I am so blessed that God chose me to be their mama and it is my job to never make them feel like they are "too much" for me but instead make them FEEL loved and content and confident in my love for them. There are so many blessings in my day to day chaos.

Being Transparent in a Photoshopped World

Lately it's been on my mind a lot how hard women (well the world in general really) are on each other. I spend my time teaching my daughters to not be judgmental, to be a friend to those in need and to always show each situation in life grace. Funny thing is though, a lot of days I feel like very few people show that grace to each other any more. I know the christian thing to do is to show kindness even when that same kindness is not shown to you, but darn it, that's hard sometimes! The people that never should let you down may and whenever someone doesn't agree with your views, they will be right there to tear you down! Do not get me wrong, I totally understand that if you are going to be an opinionated person (like me) not every one is going to agree with you and they are going to want to give their viewpoint.

 I use social media to lift up other moms and to share about my ups and downs as a wife and mother. When I first started using Myspace which evolved to Facebook and then I hopped on to Instagram, my purpose was to document life for my kids and family that could not be around day in, day out. Over the course of the last few years, I have tried to use it as more of a connection with other moms. I love for them to cheer with me when I'm happy, help me when I am frustrated and even be sad with me when I am sad. I love for people to see me be real. Transparent. Funny thing is I feel it's a darn if you do, darn if you don't situation. If I post happy moments as a wife/mom/woman I have people comment with "must be nice", "her life's perfect and it's not fair", "why does she have to brag", etc. If I post about the down moments as a mom, when my children make mistakes, when I had a rough day, or when I am having a more depressed day, I am told "wow, why would you share that", "yikes, she's airing her dirty laundry", etc. I share because somewhere out there may be a mom that needs to know that some days will be better! Or that some days just down right stink no matter what mom you are! None of us have it perfect. Some days are hard. Some days you're up with a crying baby/toddler/child for half the night. Sometimes you go 6-9 months without a date night with your husband. Some days your child makes a bad choice at school and it ruins your whole week and makes you doubt yourself as a mom. Some nights you burn dinner, some nights you make the perfect dinner. Some days your child is a perfect angel and makes you feel on top of the world. Some days they are not.  One day you may be in sweats because you couldn't muster up the energy to put on clothes, some days you may get dressed, have your hair done and makeup perfect before a kid wakes up. Some mornings you may make the perfect breakfast and the next day it may be a sugar doughnut as you run out the door to make it to school/work on time. On a great day your husband may leave you a sweet note that makes the world a perfect place, on a different day he gets home late and you miss plans because of it. Some days you have it all together, some days you don't.

My point is, we ALL have good and bad days. I love sharing mine with the world because I want to be real. No, it's not airing my dirty laundry or seeking attention, it is to try to be a leader in a world of followers. It's to be honest and strong willed and opinionated and show women that that is ok. I really need to work on having a thicker skin because of course it hurts when others do not agree with my ways and put me down. I have to remind myself that not everyone followed Jesus or believed in him but he didn't stop caring about them. He continued to show kindness to all, in a world that tried to break him down. If we all worked on showing a little more kindness and compassion, we may discover that we have more in common with the people we judge than we care to realize. I too, am guilty of this. Snide comments on Facebook about thinking the types of pictures people post are silly, or judging their actions are not necessary. If you do not like the pictures someone posts, maybe you should not be following that person on social media. There really is no one to blame but yourself for that. Stop complaining and stop making judgments and instead, show that person grace and get to know them on a different level. You may find there are a lot of things you like about that person. I'm sure not everyone likes my pictures, updates, blog posts, etc. and they don't have to. They are more than welcomed to remove me or simply not read what I post. But if you do, show me grace the same way I do you. Get to know me. Share in my life and understand that I am just trying to be as transparent as possible in a photoshopped world.