Feeling like a "sometimes" mommy lately...

      For the past week or so, I have kind of been in a crummy place. I was not quite sure and then Friday afternoon it finally hit me. I have not been feeling like a "good" mom lately. It seems funny to even say that because after all, I spend 24 hours a day 7 days a week with my children, rarely ever I mean ever get a few hours away and I try to dedicate all my time to them. No tv, very little time on the computer at night till they are in bed, read books together all the typical stuff. It's just that it's been different lately....I always promised myself that if I was going to have a daycare in my home, my kids would still get "all" of me and they would come first no matter what....Well, easier said than done! Now don't get me wrong, I LOVEEEE what I do and I am so blessed for each and every child that comes into my life and I love them each like my own. It's just that my children have seemed a little on the jealous side lately because these other children get so much of my love and attention all day long, then by the end of the day I am so tired and a little kidded out and my own don't get near as much "quality" time as I would like. So I had a talk with Peyton and reminded her that my job is a blessing for us both. If I chose any other profession, I would not get to spend my days with her and she wouldn't get to have so many sweet friends to play with each day!:) I then made myself a promise that no matter how LONG and exhausting my days may be, (8 kids, crafts, curriculum, exercise, dancing, constant cleaning, nose wiping, boo-boo fixing, fight mediating, holding,cooking, feeding, diaper changing and so on can be a tad tiring;)) I am going to give my children the quality mommy they deserve each day! I am now trying really hard to give alone time to each, and also learning time with me one on one to help in the areas they need. Peyton for instance is working on learning to read simple sight words so she needs time for that. Reagan is working on recognizing letters and numbers, Jordyn needs help on pronouncing certain letters and on improving vocabulary in general because in reality I haven't spent much time working with her and Peyton always speaks for her!;) Caiden, well he just needs extra kisses and tickles!:) Anyways, today I got to take Peyton and Reagan to the movies which was so special, and then just Jordy and I went to yogurt together! It was so special just spending a few sweet minutes alone! (Now if only there was enough time for Jasper and I at the end of the day...I just remind him that our time will come!) These moments are so fleeting, and in what I do for a living, it's so easy to let your own kids slip through the cracks, and I just never want that to happen! I have realized that besides my God, my family is the only other thing I can count on...Friends may come and go, but my family is forever! I sure hope they know how much I love them, even on my most exhausting days!

I need more crazy, happy, spunky, energetic, hyper moments like this with my beauties!