Last week was a hard week for me. My family lost a very dear friend (Not to mention I will never get to enjoy my tax appointments again...YES, I had an accountant that made you enjoy getting your taxes done!:)) I honestly am surprised how hard his death shook me..It opened my eyes a whole lot more. I think part of it was realizing Randy was only the age of my own father not to mention one of the most amazing friends my dad had ever had and watching my dad process it has been tough.
In all of this I realized though, after the rain the sun always comes out...It may take it's sweet time, it may be one heck of a storm first, and it make shake your home to the core, but the sun ALWAYS comes out again. Because God has new mercy everyday and God can comfort even in the hardest of times. The last week I have spent more time than ever hugging my children and just staring at them and memorizing their faces. Their sweet smiles, laughs, the things they say. Everything about them because I can't imagine not seeing them each day. At one point I was staring at Reagan yesterday and she said "mommy what are you doing" in the cutest Reagan voice. I told her I was remembering her beautiful smile so when she gets older I can think of her just like that still. She grabbed my cheeks and kissed me then said "mommy I want to member your pretty eyes, what kind of eyes do you got mommy?" LOL. That's how she always asks what color someones eyes are. "What kind of eyes you have" she says.;) It just melted me. I am trying to focus more on letting things go and just BEING....Just being still, calm, content, in love with my family and my God. An easier thing said than done for me I always go go go and have to be cleaning something, fixing something, cooking something, baking something, calling someone, typing something ALWAYS something. Now, I am trying to cherish the moments I spend on the floor tickling my kids, listening to their laughs (or Caiden's coos) chasing them in the yard, singing and dancing with them...All the things I was doing with them each day but not being as present as I did them. I want to dance and laugh and smile and love like each day is my last!
Sorry I kind of rambled on in this post but after all that's what a blog is for right? All my thoughts poured out as a way I can process them. So I leave you with some pictures from Mother's Tea at Peyton's Pre-School (such a WONDERFUL moment I got to spend with her after a tough morning!!) also some pictures from Mother's day...I seriously was in my jammies all day till I got dressed just to take a few "First Mother's Day as a mom of FOUR" pictures...Hey the day was about me right? I had a right to be lazy! Not to mention I was a little sad I couldn't get to Reno to spend it with my sister or my own mother. Mother's Day is always tough for my mom because the week before Mother's Day 26 years ago is when her mother (her adoptive mother, the one who raised her from birth) passed away and they layed her to rest the day before Mother's Day when she was also 9 months pregnant with me. Now tell me my mom is not a strong lady!! So, I love you mom and I know how proud your mom must be looking down on you now! Oh oops....rambled again...On to the pictures!
Mother's Tea at Joyful Noise! My precious P is too cute! Excuse the fact I am a hot mess! Note to self, do NOT go straight to a Mother's Tea from a memorial service. No matter how happy a celebration of life is supposed to be, you will still cry....
I hope all of you mommies had a wonderful Mother's Day and were spoiled by your sweet little ones!!
No comments:
Post a Comment