Yet another rambling session....

There comes a point in your life where things change. Life becomes real. You are forced to stand on your own two feet like a cat dropped off a two story building that some how lands on all 4 feet. For at least a few years now, I thought I had reached that point, but it was not until just recently, heck maybe today, that I realized I truly have. I have mentioned many times before that I am only human and very insecure at that. I pray each night for God's grace over the situation and pray that He gives me an understanding and patience and kindness that only He can offer in each and every situation I face in life. However I have had many times lately that I felt just plain alone. It's kind of like I told my MIL today as we had a great conversation...I am me, I can only be me, and I am not in a competition. I sometimes just feel like people hold me under a microscope and think I should be perfect and if I say it is hard they think well you thought you could do it! I have 4 AMAZING children (I mean REALLY amazing children:)) I have the love of the greatest man I have ever known, and a God that loves me more than I could ever even love my children, BUT life is hard. I have not had near as many struggles as most and I am very blessed. Life is still a stair climber none the less. I do not think any of us knows what we are in for when we start. Just tonight, my sweet little Peyton said to me as I stared in her eyes begging her not to turn 5 "mommy, I want to be grown up like you"....All I could say with tears in my eyes, is "please baby, don't say that, it will be here before you know it". I LOVE LOVE LOVE my life and through every up and down, it's AMAZING, and a gift but there are definitely nights I cry and say it's overwhelming because I just have such ridiculous high standards of myself. What hurts though, is when people say "well, you chose it." OF COURSE I DID!!!! It's amazing, and as any busy mama I know would say, of course I chose it, but it's exhausting!! I guess the point of this post is to tell all of those mama's out there that are exhausted, sleep deprived and feeling inadequate 90% of the time....YOU ROCK!!! Weather you are a single mama, a remarried mama or a happily married mama like myself with a husband that helps A LOT when he's home, you still have the weight of the world on your shoulders 24/7 (or at least the weight of a kindergartner, preschooler, toddler and infant like myself;)) SO give yourself a break, and understand that if dinner is not right at 6 or the kids shoes do not always match their outfit, or there are some cheerios on the floor of your car (peaches and cream muffin in my case thanks to Auntie Em;)) you are still doing amazing!!....Now if I can only take my own advice!

These beautiful little things...They are MINE! Ignore the sheer chaos of this picture, but again, that's my life!

Melt your heart sweetness...

All 3 of our sweet girls share a room. Sometimes it can be a bit well, CHALLENGING! They test the limits and giggle and play and talk the night away for an hour or two. Normally I get VERY frustrated and annoyed because I literally never get a break....BUT, when I walked in and found 2 of my sweet little angels like this...

Well, I melted! Peyton is the best big sister and loves her sisters and brother so strong! I know she will always guard, protect, love and lead them in life! See you may not see all the love in this picture, but I do. What you do not know is that that Pillow Pet is Peyton's love. She HAS to sleep with that under her head. Clearly you can see that she slept without it so her sissy could rest her pretty little head on it....I treasure this picture!

4th of July Warren Family Style!

When I say "Warren Style" I actually mean kind of calm and relaxed!:) We are not big on huge get togethers and being away from home on holidays. We kind of like to just be a family and spend the day together! This year though we had a great time! We started the day with a red, white and blue breakfast! (Yes I dyed the eggs blue per Peyton's request) Then the girls partied down outside swimming and jumping in our blow up slide all morning! We then made a quick trip to my best friends house for a small get together. Came home to regroup and then went to my sweet friend Meagan's house! (This girls is an amazing host) She had her daughters party at their house the day before also and yet she still had time to put together a huge get together full of amazing friends and great food! We ducked out pretty early though because we love to have a tiny little firework show of our own. Just our family!:) So, we finished off with some fireworks, baths and bed time! Needless to say, my children slept great that night! Here are some photos of our BEST 4th ever! Our FIRST 4th OF JULY as a COMPLETE FAMILY!!! So special!!

The girls festive breakfast! Jasper makes fun of my holiday breakfast every time, the girls love it though!;)

                   Water slide fun!! This slide has got some use around here!

     Me and my 4 loves ready to head to Auntie Em's to swim! I have no clue what Jordyn is doing...

                                     Mr's FIRST 4th!!! He lived it up!!

                    This makes each and every day worth it! My world is in this picture!

                 SLIP AND SLIDE FUN!!! Jordyn was too darn cute on the slip and slide!!

Breaking from play for mommy's "supposed to be blue turned green cupcakes":)

                                               MMMMMMMMMM...Yummy!!!

PLEASE MOMMY let us in the big pool now! The girls were over the blow up pool and ready for the real deal!

                           No babies were harmed in the shooting of this photo..Promise!

This girl is a sparkler queen! I know I know, I am usually Miss over protective, but we talk a LOT about safety before they get a turn:) They each did great!!!

                                          This little dare devil had to let us help of course!

There you have it....4th of July Warren Family Style! Such an amazing day and a great day filled with so much history to share with our children! I really enjoyed explaining parts of our history and why we celebrate this historical day each year with my children and the daycare! Of course how much a room full of under 5's took in is debatable!:) I hope everyone else had an amazing 4th also!!

Giving me a smile after a long, hard day!

OK, OK...I am sounding somewhat like a broken record and my blog is pretty boring. Come to think of it, I am kind of a boring person. I bet even my diary was bored with me in my younger years!;) BUT...I have had yet another tough hill I have been climbing lately. Kind of letting myself have a pity party to be honest.
As usual there has been no real reason for my "feel sorry for myself" state...Just maybe tired, busy, I don't know. Anyways, you just never know when insecurity can be thrown at you. I believe I have mentioned this before but I will again. Women tell me all the time or even make jokes that I'm super mom, have it all together, try to be perfect, on and on and on. LET ME TELL YOU...That is far from the truth! To be honest, most days I feel inadequate, misjudged, belittled and sometimes even just plain defeated. Thankfully I have an amazing God (and an amazing husband too) that talk me back into realizing, I'm not all that bad and I do NOT have to be perfect. I can only be me and after all, God doesn't make mistakes, so for some reason, he wants me just as I am! Sometimes I just don't feel like I have that "group" I fit in. Recently I told Jasper that I am in DESPERATE need of a vacation without children (I have only had 2 nights kid free in 5 years) we decided that at least for the time being there is no way we can leave on a vacation together because no one can handle all 4 children for even 2 days.:( So, Jasper told me to book a trip for a weekend somewhere...problem is I really do not have a group of girlfriends to go with. So, that started my sad, pathetic nobody likes me spiral, then as anyone that spends their day with lots of young children knows, I can feel pretty defeated after a long day and honestly sometimes these children make me feel I am more a slave than a mom/child care provider. YES I know that it is an honor to be blessed with them and yes most days I thank the Lord above for all of my blessings, every now and then though, I just feel blah...Left out from the outside world, not important and small. It's funny how the very same children that can make me go crazy with chaos each day, can melt my heart the next second.. Daycare children included! Just today while I was reading our circle time story, in the middle of it one of my sweet daycare boys yelled out to me "I love you Miss Lindsay"...How could that not make me feel like I am doing something right! I always wanted to be a teacher but in ways, I think I am luckier to be doing what I am doing instead. I still get to "teach", I get to bring these children up in a home environment where they are not overwhelmed, I get to show them more love than I could in a school setting, set my own schedule and I get to spend every day with MY children! It seriously makes me sad for all of the parents that would love to spend the day with their babies and can't. Even though this job can be tougher than anyone might imagine, it's pretty amazing too! Some days make pretty tiring, cranky nights for me still....

THEN....Tonight, I looked at these sweet pictures as I uploaded the 4th of July pictures and it's as if God made sure I ended my night with these sweet faces in my mind. God my children are amazing and a true gift from God....I will never know why God found me worthy enough to raise these perfect, sweet and amazing angels BUT I will spend each day of my life trying to make Him proud of the job I am doing.

Peyton getting all checked out and cleared for kindergarten at her physical! Look out Franklin, here she comes!

Reagan...Oh sweet Reagan demanding I take her giggling picture while she told me "I'm a mom":)

OH my precious, precious Jordy! Almost 2 going on 5! Showing off her innocent smile and first ponytail!

My Mr. Man!! The other man in my life! Growing up way too fast!! Rolling all over and trying to scoot! WAY too young for this! Little Mr. is also 90% in weight! Football world here we come!!!;)

My July List

Every month, at the beginning of the month, I come up with a list of things that are important for me to do. It may be things around the house, things to do with my family, or just things to do for myself! I figured, I might as well put my list down each month on my blog where I feel like I am held accountable to complete my list!:)

1. Throw Peyton the PINKEST PINKALICIOUS party ever to celebrate the BIG 5!!!!
2. Dedicate more time to the Lord- Especially to my studies (I am ashamed of my slacking)
3. Find a way and time to take my family to the beach, if only for a day trip!
4. Watch Peyton start jazz for the first time ever!
5. spend more one on one time with each of my kids!
6. have at least one date night with my husband!
7. FINALLY get back to 5+ mile runs- the most I have done since Caiden is 3.:(
8. Lay outside late one night and stare at the stars with the kids.
9. Take the kids to pick our own fruit.
10. Learn to make pasta from scratch.
11. Catch up on scrap booking
12. Spend more time with friends...not just texting or facebooking
13. play with my children till I laugh so much it hurts.
14. Have a whole day where I do nothing but snuggle with my family.
15. Re-paint our family room
16. Re-carpet our family room
17. Read a good book
18. live each day like it's my last!

Simple enough this month right!?! I have been a little cranky lately and less patient than usual with my sweet children. It's funny how each day starts with a ladder and by the middle of the day, one of your kids can be at the top of the ladder of mommy's favorites for the day, and one can be well...below the top!;) I love all four of my sweet babes more than life, BUT man...they have there days! Recently Jordyn has been my little love bug and more clingy with mommy and Caiden well Caiden just loves everyone, especially mommy!!:) Reagan and Peyton, my goodness...those two have given me a run for my money (I mean hugs and kisses) lately. Reagan's favorite words to me lately are...
1.)"NO!"
2.)"Don't you say that to me!"
3.)"I'm a mom"...."I can do what I want"
Clearly....we have hit the terrible twos, just a little later than some! Peyton on the other hand, she is the sweetest thing EVER but I may need to have Dr. Marks recheck her hearing because clearly she must not be hearing me when she does the opposite of everything I say to do...hmmm? Weird! Anyways, I am really needing to remind myself to love my children and enjoy this season because in the blink of an eye, we will be in a new season and missing these years so much! Just thinking about them growing makes my heart hurt!
Back to the subject, what is on your list of things to do this month?!

Find your own way to serve..

Once again blogger Lindsay has been slacking....OOPS! I have been so busy with my family, the daycare and Jasper's business that I'm a tad on the tired side! I will be posting more later but for now I have a short little post about something that really touched my heart and reminded me why I love my husband so much!

This week, he started working on some work on the interior of a house. The homeowners just recently moved in, and needed several things taken care of. Yesterday, Jasper and I were texting back and forth about some things during nap and he threw me off when he asked if I had extra invitations left for Peyton's birthday party. Of course I responded yes and then asked why. (I'm a little nosy, I needed more details!:) He filled me in on the sweet couple that he was working for. They have two little boys, one five and one a little younger than Caiden, just moved from Arkansas since the husband was moved here due to work (Air Force) and they do not know a single person. The mom sounded a little sad to Jasper when she told him that only one neighbor had made an attempt to talk to them and that she hasn't even really left the house much because she doesn't know the area. SO...To the point of this, my sweet husband then invited their five year old to Peyton's party so he could have a chance to play with some other children and the couple could get out and meet other people! He also let them know that we would love to have them over for dinner or for a play date. I know it's not that this is a huge thing, but for my husband to go out of his way to offer support and friendship to someone he had only just meant, really meant a lot to me!

People talk all of the time about ways to serve the Lord and ways of donating your time, money and effort. Well to me, being hospitable and going out of your way to make others feel loved and comforted and offer friendship to people that could really use a friend, is an amazing way to do just that!

I know that my blog is just a little blog without many readers, BUT for those of you out there that do read it, I challenge and urge you to do this same thing at least once in the near future so you can see the difference you can make to someone. Maybe something so simple as a neighbor that needs help carrying groceries in, the homeless lady that you could take a bottle of water or a sandwich to, the mother at the park that seems lonely and would love for you to acknowledge her, anyone that you can make a difference to, DO IT!

Father's Day

I know I say it all the time, BUT...MY HUSBAND IS THE BEST FATHER EVER!!!! There is just no denying it! We spent Father's Day having a relaxing family day! I got up and made Jasper French Toast, Bacon and Hash browns for breakfast, spoiled him with presents and the girls sang him the special Father's Day song we learned in the daycare and gave him their special gifts! We then went up and visited with Jasper's grandpa and rounded off the day with a quick shopping trip in Chico! It was great to just have a day to celebrate my husband and all the things he does for our family...Here are some of the reasons that he is the best dad...
1. He does the girls hair (Sorry babe I know this was a secret;)) I'm talking, the man does it good!
2.He did almost every single bath time through my pregnancies and heck even now.
3.He has always been the night time baby feeding guy (I know I am making myself look like a slacker now)
4.He has never ending patience with our children.
5.He has changed just as many diapers on our kids as me.
6.He can recite many lines from children's books because he has spent countless hours reading to our kids.
7.He has given up many hunting seasons, and fishing trips due to pregnancies and babies. (HUGE I KNOW)
8.He is willing to sport my mini van around town and can rock it like no other dad around!;)
9.He has always been patient with the 1,000,000 photo shoots I have made him be in.
10.He can sing the whole intro to Veggie Tales This is HUGE for our girls...Makes them giggle everytime!;)
11.He loves our children and me with a love stronger than I have ever seen. I literally can see in his eyes each day how much he loves us and it makes me feel, proud, safe, loved and content.
12.He has made it a priority to raise our children in a God loving home and center our family around Christ. Having a husband that loves God and has made faith a priority in his/our lives, is huge to me!

My darling husband, you are one of the greatest blessings God has ever blessed me with! You truly are the most amazing father and I know someday our kids are going to think back and say, man...our dad was amazing to us!

A quick family trip to the Afterbay the day before Father's Day!

Daddy caught a fish for the girls before we left! Reagan thought we could bring him home for our fish tank.;)

Giving daddy his special Father's Day gifts from them and singing him the Father song.:)

I HAD to post this picture. LOL! This is what you get when you ask a man over 70 to take a picture:)))

Jasper, Great grandpa Warren and the kids all feeding the horses. A MUST when we visit grandpa!;)
So there you have it...The best dad in the world:) (Of course my own dad is right up there too! When you are growing up, you dream of finding love, finding a sol mate, finding that person that knows what you are going to say before you say it, that person that when you look out the window and see him playing with your children, it makes you stop and say "I am blessed"....Well....I am blessed! I found that man! I intend to spend everyday until forever raising our beautiful family with this incredible man! We love you babe!